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Unfinished Business and Making Amends

Lee Kravitz wrote a book entitled Unfinished Business: One Man’s Extraordinary Year of Trying to Do the Right Things–about ten journeys he took to reconnect with his life after he lost his job. He also writes for Psychology Today and his own website, on the topic.

“All of us have unfinished business.” he writes. “It can be a friend we lost touch with or a mentor we never thanked; it can be a call we meant to make or a pledge we failed to honor. It can be a goal we lost sight of or a spiritual quest we put on hold. Too often, life takes over and pushes the experiences that might enrich, enlarge or even complete us to the bottom of our to-do list.”

In his Psychology Today blog, he shares a story from a reader who was working on Step 9 of the 12 Step program – Making Amends.

“After years of alcoholism and drug abuse, I turned my life over to a 12-step program,”  the reader wrote: “I am 19 years, 10 months, 28 days clean and sober.

“I started small: calling a local car dealer ‘Mr.’ despite his insistence I call him Pat. I’d abused so many people, it was now my privilege to show them the respect they deserved. I went on to bigger things like returning items I’d ‘borrowed’ only never returned, then to money. My older brother had lent me $3000 at one time. I never paid it back, and it was the elephant in the room for me. At 13 years sober I did so (with interest). No more elephants!

“Going through some old picture albums, I found pictures of my ex-husband and his family, looked him up, and sent them to him, 30 years later, with a note wishing his life has been well. Now, I’m searching for an ex-boyfriend to right a wrong, lifting another burden, setting me free.”

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